So, it started off on: How do I finally get this beer and drink it for my mother?
They don’t sell it, because it’s a beer, because they only sell wine and brandy and fine things. But I did call the local wine store, and, “No, we don’t sell it, because we’re too small.” I called another liquor shop, actually, in California. And, of course, I thought-I knew you couldn’t find it at Kroger’s. And I was just, “What’s the number one beer in the world?” Well, it’s Utopia. And I thought, “Well, if I’m going to drink a beer for Mommy, it has to be the best beer.” So we went-we, being Alex and I, went over to the local bookstore and looked-you know, went to the beer-and looked at the beer book. My mother and her sisters are beer drinkers. You know, I can’t mourn forever.” So I said, “You know, why don’t we drink a beer for the old girl?” But I don’t like beer.
So I said to Alex, “You know, we’ve got to-I’ve got to make changes. But the reason I knew Mommy was dying is that she was in the hospital-she had taken a fall-and I said, “Oh, you want me to sneak you a beer in?” because every day she drank a beer, and she said, “No, I don’t-I don’t want a beer.” And I had to accept Mommy’s dying. And the reason I knew Mommy was dying-I knew that my sister was dying, but she had a brain tumor. But you have to eventually-I mean, I was looking at Alex, and one morning I went out, and Alex was giving me-I don’t know if you’re a dog person, but Alex was giving me that “Again?” And I thought, “OK, you’re right, Alex.”īut every day that I knew my mother, she drank a beer. You know, I mean, I think it’s OK-you’re sad you ought to be able to drink, or you ought to be able to cry, or whatever it is one do-one does. So, I finally realized you can’t do that. And so, I would go out on the deck and have a glass of Chardonnay, and, as I said to somebody, about 3:00 in the afternoon I went to bed. And so, I said to Alex, you know, “I just-I just need to be quiet.” You know, you have a headache. But then, I got it done.Īnd I have a dog, Alex. And I’m a responsible person, so you have to sort of put your own mourning aside to get done what needs to be done. My mother died in June, my sister died that August, and my aunt died that October. And it was, “Oh, my goodness, she’s not there.” But I was very sad, but I had a lot to do. And when the thing happened at Virginia Tech, I literally saw myself reach to call Mommy.
She died in 2004, actually just before the tragedy. My mother died, and I was incredibly sad. And this book came out-you know, I said the other night to my editor, “If I could boil this book, if I could find some sort of special water to put it in, boil the book, cool it, and let people drink it, it would be joy, because this is a-really, this is a book that makes you smile. AMY GOODMAN: Nikki Giovanni, talking about chasing-talk about Chasing Utopia.
0 kommentar(er)
